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QUESTION OF THE WEEK: I have a friend who is really into feng shui, but constantly encounters bad luck and strange calamities — way more than the average person. It’s almost like the more into feng shui she gets, the more crazy, upsetting experiences she has. What are your thoughts?

People like your friend have been conditioned to believe that their lives are determined by outside forces beyond their control, and that feng shui can magically mitigate and eradicate all the bad in life. In my experience, the more a person strives for a one-sided reality — in this case, all good and no bad — challenging life events occur to bring them back into balance.


Just as a magnet has two poles, a positive and a negative, life has two opposite yet complementary sides. We live in an oppositional reality: good/bad, up/ down, light/dark, positive/ negative, etc. Trying to use feng shui to create something unbalanced will never work, because feng shui is all about balance. From the foods we eat or the friends we choose, to the lifestyle we live, it’s all about balance, including within your home environment.

It sounds as if your friend is using feng shui to avoid “bad luck.” She is perhaps putting so much of her energy into avoiding the bad, that she is drawing it to her. That is why the more “into” feng shui she gets, the more crazy her life seems to be.

If she is willing, she can turn her luck around by using feng shui properly to bring balance to her environment and her life. That being said, what I have found is that unless that individual is willing to see a different perspective, no one will be able to convince them otherwise.

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My advice


I have heard it said that to have a loving and supportive family is a blessing, but to have a healthy, beautiful, supportive and happy home is to be blessed twice! The latter is — and should be — the focus of feng shui.

If I could talk to your friend, and she was open and willing to try a different approach, I would tell her to relax and bring more harmony into her life by working with the five elements — wood, fire, earth, metal and water — using the basic feng shui principles to shift, balance and harmonize the energy in her home. By concentrating on balance rather than avoiding the bad, she will find that balance comes naturally.

As my mentor Dr. John Demartini said, “It’s wiser to embrace life for the true and balanced magnificence that it offers than to strive for a fantasy of what it idealistically should be.”


Send questions to alice@yourhappinessu.com.