One of my readers, Doris, approached me as I was getting into my car last week and asked when I was going to write about feng shui in regard to relationships. She shared that she and her friends could certainly use some insight in this arena.

What about you? Are you lacking a significant other and desire one? Do you feel as though your current relationship is draining you or has lost the luster of its early years? If so, you may want to try some of these feng shui suggestions and set a new intent for your relationships.

The Bagua

In feng shui, every area of life and everything that happens in life can be placed into nine categories that are spatially represented by areas in your home. These nine categories make up an energetic map of your home called the bagua (pronounced bahgwah).

The “relationship area” is in one of these nine categories. By knowing where it is, and what you can do, you are empowered with knowledge that can support what you desire. The bagua is one of the most fundamental tools of feng shui and an excellent way to apply feng shui concepts to your environment.

Where is my relationship area?


When standing at the front door facing in, the relationship area is in the back-right corner. Your relationship area may be the garage, an unused room in the house, such as a storage room or even the bathroom. Don’t jump to any inaccurate conclusions and judge the location as “bad.” You can improve the energy of any space in your home no matter where it is.

If your layout is unique and you are uncertain if you have located the “right” area, simply apply this information to your bedroom, regardless of where it is in the bagua. In feng shui, the bedroom also symbolically represents relationships.

Use the color and feel of love

The colors of the relationship area are “romantic” colors, such as pink, red, mauve, coral, burgundy, etc., and the feel you want to go for is soft, sensual, smooth, satiny and fresh. Anything that reminds you of romance and love is ideal. If these colors are not your style, use an accent piece or place one thing in this area that links you to what you want to manifest in a relationship.

Use symbols of romance and pairs of items

Use mirrors, figurines, candles, fresh flowers and anything that reminds you of love to boost the energy of this area. Put a lot of focus on pairs, and remove anything that looks lonely. Pairs can come in the form of sculptures, paintings and other images, matching nightstands, two candles, two lamps, matching pillows, salt-and-pepper shakers and so forth.

What to avoid

Keep photos of in-laws and children and anyone not related to the primary relationship out of this area and keep the focus on the primary relationship. (If you are not looking for a partner, however, then it is all right to keep photos of you and your friends here to strengthen existing relationships.)


Avoid anything that is strongly related to past relationships so that you can “let go of the old and bring in the new.” While it is not always feasible to get rid of your bed when a relationship ends, do what you can to make it look fresh and new. Purchase new sheets and pillows, use new accent pieces, and so on.

Do not store anything under the bed that holds energy of the past, such as photos or mementos or clothes from past relationships. These are best moved out of your home. If you must keep some things under the bed, place neutral items there, such as extra bedding and pillows — things that are geared toward rest.

Avoid fountains in the marriage area or the bedroom because they tend to move emotions excessively.

If you really must have one here, make sure to place ample plants around it so that the water energetically “feeds” the plants to create stability.

What can I expect?

By setting your intention and enhancing the relationship areas of your home, you may experience an enhanced primary relationship, gain a better understanding with everyone you have a relationship with, find Mr. or Ms. Right or a see new level of commitment in your existing relationship. Isn’t that enough incentive to give it a try?

Feng shui expert and life guide Alice Inoue — whose bi-weekly articles appear in Hawaii Renovation — offers books, DVDs, workshops and private consultations. Join Alice on 11/11/11 for her “Get Inspired About Your Life!” event. Visit