Fields of Misery

By Alice Inoue Posted in: Go Ask AliceImprove

Whether EMFs in your life refer to electromagnetic fields or energy-draining friends, the following precautions for both meanings will keep the right vibes flowing

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Will you address EMFs? I heard they are dangerous, and that you are supposed to stay away from them.

EMFs are “electromagnetic fields,” generated by electronics. I will address these in the second half of this article. However, when I first read your question, I couldn’t help but think about another type of “EMF” — “Energy-draining, Mana-sucking Friends.” For those of you unfamiliar with the word “mana,” it is Hawaiian for “power” or “life force.”

Do you have EMF friends or family members?

EMF people zap your energy, live in a world of negativity, lean on you too much and leave you feeling drained. When they call, you think, “ugh,” and then either let the call go to voice-mail or brace yourself for a tiring interaction. You need a more effective strategy to deal with EMF friends or family members, so that you don’t lose your energy when dealing with them.

Identify the EMFs in your life

Some people help you to build your energy, rejuvenating you (a reciprocal process), while EMFs leave you exhausted and tend to:

• Not respect your time
• Not take no for an answer
• Be “drama queens,” making mountains out of molehills
• Be judgmental, critical and fault-finders
• Complain and blame others for what’s going on
• Stay stuck in a problem that you’ve repeatedly listened to
• Never bring anything new to the table
— it’s always about their bad relationships, horrible work situation, crazy life, etc.

Strategies for minimizing your time with EMFs

EMFs are not “bad people,” but they do not serve you, and their problems should not become yours.

Here are a few steps to help you now and in the future:

Clearly identify existing and potential EMFs

By name, who are the current EMFs in your life? Now, you can identify future EMFs by trusting your intuition and visceral reactions after an encounter with a potential friend. Though this person may come across as witty and smart, or have good stories to share, stay tuned in to how you feel during and after your encounter. If you feel tense, sad, confused, your energy lowers or you are left with a negative vibe, this person could be a potential EMF to you.

Limit your contact

If you can’t limit your contact, for instance, with family members or coworkers, always start out the conversation with something like, “I only have a few minutes and then I have to go.” Keep the conversation brief and on point, then exit gracefully. If you cannot exit, lovingly tune the person out.

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Do not allow yourself to get pulled in

You may think that you can help the individual fix his or her problems, but it is unlikely. Your best strategy is to set clear and firm limits, and resist offering solutions, even when asked. Listen for a short while, then say something like, “I’m sure you’ll find the right answer for yourself,” or “Things will work themselves out.

I’ll send you good energy.” Then direct their attention to something positive. Be kind, but firm, and do not try to solve or fix anything for them.

Watch your emotional response

EMFs like people who react to them. When you offer an overly compassionate ear or get outraged or emotional, you draw these people in and teach them that they can depend on you for a reaction. A better strategy is to calmly listen, interact for a bit and then disengage.

Still have trouble detaching?

If you have a hard time holding the boundaries with certain EMFs, honestly ask yourself what you are getting out of it. Do they make you feel needed? Do you use your interactions with them as social currency with others? Do you feel “above them,” because they are so “messed up”? Do you feel sorry for them? If so, remember that it is up to them to make changes in their lives, not you.

Electromagnetic fields in your home

In closing, I’d like to answer your question about the EMFs in the environment. EMFs are the combination of electrical and magnetic fields that are emitted from your house wiring, televisions, radios, cell phones, hair dryers, microwaves and even digital and electric clocks.

EMFs of various frequencies fill our homes, workplaces and public spaces, and are considered by many to be harmful to our bodies. We want to avoid them because our bodies are sensitive to high external EMF emissions.

Our skin, DNA, blood vessels, vital organs and even our cell membranes are affected. Plus, the effect of exposure is cumulative; so, the sooner you can reduce your exposure the better.

Tips to reduce your EMF exposure:

• If large office equipment, a television, or computer is on the other side of the bedroom wall behind your head, consider moving your bed or the equipment, as EMFs penetrate all building materials. • In the bedroom, remove all electrical devices, or place them as far away from your bed as possible, especially TVs, cell phones and computers. The further away you are from the item, the less impact it has on your body. • Avoid prolonged fluorescent light exposure. • If you are not ready to get rid of your microwave, move far away from it when it is on. • Turn off your wireless routers at night, especially if your home office is near your bedroom.

EMFs from electrical devices were not an issue even 50 years ago, but nowadays, addressing electromagnetic energy fields and energy-draining people is essential to our wellness.

Alice Inoue is the founder and Chief Happiness Officer at Happiness U, a friendly educational establishment at Na Lama Kukui (formerly known as Gentry Pacific Design Center) on Nimitz Highway. At Happiness U you’ll find dozens of inspiring classes all geared toward personal growth, helping you live a more purposeful and ease-filled life. www.YourHappinessU.com