Why So Negative?
If you find yourself in a bad cycle, maybe it’s time for an inner feng shui adjustment. Let go of old patterns to escape the negative flow of energy in your life
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: My life is not going too well lately. I seem to be in this negative pattern that I can’t break free of. Is there something I can do to get out of this? Is it a feng shui thing or am I just in a bad cycle? (By the way, I did have my home feng shui’d in the past.)
Thank you for this question! I can go in so many directions with this answer that I have to really think about what I want to say. I’ll begin by explaining that in feng shui, when we adjust the environmental energy flow, our intent is to create more positive experiences in the person’s life. However, sometimes no matter what is done to the outer environment, unless a corresponding shift happens in the inner environment (emotionally, mentally, or spiritually), no positive change will occur.
Sometimes we have to choose to see things differently by shifting the flow of energy in our minds, because it is taking us in a negative direction. So, if life is not going the way you want, you may need an “inner” feng shui adjustment.
It’s not all about the environment
Over a dozen years ago, when I first started learning feng shui, I thought it was all about the environment. All I had to do was make a positive change in the physical surroundings in line with feng shui principles, and “voila!” — a beneficial shift in your life would occur. To my dismay, I noticed early on that even with “good” feng shui challenges still occurred.
Subsequently, I came to the understanding that although our physical environment has an impact on our lives, challenges will always be a part of life no matter how good our feng shui is. Our thoughts and perceptions about our challenges can make all the difference in how we experience our lives.
Nothing happens to you, everything happens for you
The first guiding principle I teach at my school, Happiness U, is, “Nothing happens to you; everything happens for you.” This means that the things in our lives that we perceive as being “bad” actually serve us in some way, and until we can change that perception and see the hidden benefit, we will feel that we are having a negative experience.
With hindsight, we can usually see how those challenges benefitted us. We can all relate to the premature ending of a relationship or job, which, when viewed in retrospect, turned out to be a good thing.
Stopping a chain of “negative” things
However, when “negative” experiences happen over and over, it can be overwhelming, making us lose sight of the bigger picture. It’s natural to want the “negative” to stop so that we can get on with our lives, but if you balance your perception by seeing the positive in every negative, the negatives become opportunities for growth.
A body in motion stays in motion
A key feng shui principle is similar to the physics principle that says, “A body in motion will stay in motion.” In other words, energy continues to flow where it is currently flowing.
Relating that principle to challenges, when a string of negative things happen, it’s easy to keep talking about how difficult things are, perpetuating their negative trajectory. I know people who are so stuck on talking about the negative things in their lives that it becomes their life view. Until they become aware of and want to shift that viewpoint, they will continually create a life that is over-challenging.
Consciously interrupt the energy flow
To change that energy pattern, or trajectory, I work to help people let go of their attachment to seeing their situation as all negative.
First it’s important to “accept” the situation. Then ask yourself what you are getting out of it. If you are getting sick a lot, perhaps that is your body’s way of getting the rest it needs? If you constantly have costly car troubles, is it helping you get clearer on your financial situation? If your friend is flaking out on you and missing commitments, is that helping you to value your time more?
You may find that even in challenging situations, you are choosing to stay in the negative mindset because it validates the opinions you might have about yourself or your life. In other words, your pain and challenges are serving you on a subconscious level.
Change creates change
Letting go of our old patterns and interrupting our negative energy is sometimes the best way to find our way out of a “bad” situation. Be honest and ask yourself if your pain and negative life view is serving you in some way. Are you holding onto them so that you can blame your life on something outside of yourself?
Balancing the pain and frustration in your life by seeing how it is serving you can help you find your way out of a negative spiral so that you can move forward.
Alice Inoue is the founder and Chief Happiness Officer at Happiness U, an educational establishment at the Gentry Pacific Center on Nimitz Highway. Learn things about life that were never taught in school about how to be happy. Happiness U offers classes such as Feng Shui 101, Clutter Clearing Plan 101, Positive Mindset 101, Happiness 101 and more. Visit www.YourHappinessU.com for more information.