On which side of the bed do you sleep? Think back to the various homes you have lived in. Did you favor a particular side of the bed or did the area you favor change with each move? Do you ever wonder what side of the bed is best to sleep on in terms of feng shui?

Over the years, I have noticed that symbolism is involved in what side of the bed you sleep on. Although in my feng shui course of study I didn’t officially learn anything about bedside positions, my clients do ask this question from time to time. So I started taking note of this over the years.

My Informal Findings


Since there are rules governing where the bed should be placed, you would think that there would be a rule about who should sleep where. But as far as I know, there is not. Over the years, it has been interesting to note which sides couples choose to sleep on in relation to the door. My informal findings have been quite consistent from home to home.

Closer to door, more responsibility

It seems that the person sleeping closest to the door is the one who is the “protector” of the home and feels a bit more “in charge.” That person seems to be the one who takes more responsibility for the home and is energetically more in tune with it. This is not meant to say that the person farthest from the door does not care, only that the one who sleeps closer to the door has a stronger sense of home-protector energy. It also seems that the one closer to the door is more “in control.” This can be either the male or the female, depending on who plays the strongest role in their relationship.

If you go back to caveman days, the father or the protector always slept on the side closest to the cave opening so as to be in the best position to protect his family should an intruder come in. These days, however, I have noticed just as often that it is the female who sleeps closer to the door.

My side, your side


Sometimes people get accustomed to sleeping on a certain side of the bed, and then when a couple moves to a new home, each keeps the side that is familiar even when the position of the door has changed. When I have asked them to think back to the original home in which each began sleeping on a certain side, the answer often matches my theory.

Change of sides?

If a couple shares that their relationship has stagnated and become routine, I sometimes suggest that they change sides for a week, “just for fun” and to see if they experience better sleep, worse sleep, or if they feel they are getting up on the “right” or “wrong” side of the bed.

I also suggest this exercise when a couple is in conflict and has opposing viewpoints. The exercise allows them to “be in each other’s energy” and often helps them reach a balanced resolution by reducing the polarity.


Couples have reported that switching sides is uncomfortable and weird at first. In most cases, the one who sleeps nearest the door sleeps better than the other one, but eventually they go back to their original positions. Only a few couples out of a few dozen have reported that they like the new positions better.

Sleeping on a different side may help

If you are up for some change, see how it feels to sleep on a different side of the bed tonight. Even if you sleep alone, you likely tend to gravitate toward one side or the other. You may find that changing positions shifts your perspective just enough that you see a new way to break out of a limiting situation in your life.