Balanced relations in the home

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: I’ve been married for about 25 years, and I just don’t feel appreciated. Feng shui, from what I understand, is about balance. I know you are not a relationship counselor, but I welcome anything you can say, because my relationship does not feel balanced to me.

Yes, feng shui is about balance, but while the environment is a great place to create support, it is not everything.

What you shared is the reason I became interested in expanding my knowledge beyond the confines of astrology and feng shui. I know that no matter what the stars and planets say, and how “feng shui perfect” an environment is, if all individuals living within the environment don’t make some personal changes, balance will never occur.

• Supporting relationship balance in an environment. It’s important that the home balances “his” and “her” areas. The home should have areas that are put together with what the male wants, including his preferred colors and furniture, and the female should have hers. The shared areas should be a combination of both, especially in the bedroom. To keep the “couple energy” present and sacred, do not place photos of in-laws and friends in the bedroom. Place items meaningful to your shared life together. Master bedrooms represent the relationship and should focus on the couple sharing the room.

• More than just balance in the home. Conveying appreciation is important. Because communicating with your husband about how you feel about his lack of appreciation has not worked in the past, perhaps you can try something new. Who knows? Maybe he hasn’t felt appreciated by you either all these years. You can use this opportunity to shift the old pattern and dynamic.

Even if you feel that you have nothing good to say, positive thoughts do lead to positive feelings, and the goal is to initiate a positive action, no matter how small, that will help you to hopefully bring something of value back into your relationship.

Alice Inoue is the founder and Chief Happiness Officer at Happiness U, a friendly educational establishment at Na Lama Kukui (formerly known as the Gentry Pacific Design Center) on Nimitz Highway. Visit www.YourHappinessU.com.