Think the ‘Right’ Way
Finding direction in a world of opportunity can be daunting. Provided below are intuitive ideas to help you make confident choices when options abound
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: For the first time in my life, I have too many job options from which to choose and I just don’t know how to make the right choice. I have drawn a chart with the pros and cons of each opportunity, but I am still confused because they are so evenly split. Do you have any advice about making choices? What can I do in my home to support myself in making the right choice? I am at a standstill and am afraid to make a wrong move.
Sometimes, we have no options and wish that “something” would show up, and at other times, too many options are available, just as you are experiencing now. Whether you have too many or too few options, making a choice can be debilitating.
What you can do in your home
To support yourself in your environment, try grouping similar but scattered things. Put knickknacks into a basket, books back on a bookshelf, shoes in one place, etc. This will help you to see “one” versus “many,” and will visually and energetically support your intent as you are making your decisions.
The good news
The good news for you, from my point of view at least, is that absolutely no wrong choices exist! No matter what path you eventually choose, you will come out ahead. Of course, based on your choice, your experiences will be different; they will take place in a different environment and with different people, yet the life lessons and benefits will offer what you need from life. So no matter what you choose, it will be the right path for you.
Often, people regret certain choices they have made only because they imagine that had they taken a different path, they would have gotten “X” or experienced “Y,” which they now either perceive or fantasize as being better. In these cases, by not living in the present and seeing only the challenges they have faced, they fail to recognize the benefits gained by being on their current path.
When I am in a session with someone who says that he or she would have been better off marrying another person, taking another job, or not starting his or her own business, I stress the experiences he or she has had because of the path chosen: new acquaintances, the opportunities that came from knowing those people and so forth. Through conscious awareness, we can open up to a new understanding of our current reality.
Let go of the pressure
You may be putting too much pressure on yourself to make the right choice. Don’t approach your decision as if there were only one right answer. Once you can see benefits in all of your top choices, acknowledge that many great options are before you.
Don’t try to use too much logic to figure this out, especially because you’ve already done the traditional tally of pluses and minuses to no avail. Our fears often paralyze us from making the decisions that offer the most inspiration.
Listen to your heart
First thing tomorrow morning, before getting out of bed and engaging your mind to try to “figure your life out,” ask your heart and listen to what it has to say. Put both hands on your stomach, take a deep breath and say each option aloud. This will allow you to connect to your own inner wisdom in a new way. Notice how you feel as you bring up each of your options. It is likely that one of those feelings will be better than the others. Do this exercise a few times.
Your mind will try to kick in and confuse you, but continue to breathe deeply and keep your intention set on hearing the quieter voice of your heart. It may be subtle at first, but eventually you will be able to feel the difference.
What if you have a feeling that one option is more aligned with your heart, but you are not ready to go there? I might say, “Follow your heart! Jump in. Trust that the situation and circumstances of your life will align to let you know you are on the right path,” but I am not you and I know heart-based choices are not always easy to make.
So let’s say that after weighing all your options, heart and mind, you move toward a mind-based choice that makes sense to you and feels the safest. Don’t worry! That’s okay. Again, no “wrong” choices exist. The choice you make is the right choice for you at that time.
If you make a choice based on one set of values, such as more pay, more status or more stability, and later realize that it is unfulfilling, you can always make a change. Meanwhile, you will have had great experiences and opportunities.
There is no “wrong” choice
Rest assured that you will eventually pick the option that feels “right” for you in that moment, and when you do, remind yourself once again that you can’t make a “wrong” choice. Whatever you choose will be right for you. The next step is to commit to that choice and make it great.
Alice Inoue is the founder and Chief Happiness Officer at Happiness U, a friendly educational establishment at Na Lama Kukui (formerly known as Gentry Pacific Design Center) on Nimitz Highway. At Happiness U you’ll find dozens of inspiring classes all geared towards personal growth, helping you live a more purposeful and ease-filled life. Visit www.YourHappinessU.com.